Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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