Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
