I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
