Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
