is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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