I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
our cab driver is having phone sex.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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