just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
