It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
