U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
