If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
