the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
