only if we run a train.
done.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
