So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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