My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
