Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
