Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
