I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
