I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Randomize
