She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
did i just pee glitter
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
