p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
