he puts the penis in happiness.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
