So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
