just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
