I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
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