Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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