i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
