if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
