I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
