My brain says no but my pants say off.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
