i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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