They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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