haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
