they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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