Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
they're like a gay fantastic four
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
