It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
