he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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