i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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