No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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