I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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