Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
