Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
