Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
