whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
