Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
