Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
i now understand why vodka
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
