Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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