K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
