We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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