I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
