Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Four minutes until I can fart!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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